yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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