I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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