I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
