dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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