Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
