Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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