At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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