not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
