Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize