I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
