I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
