2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
