Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
