We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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