you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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