my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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