508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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