When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
