It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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