that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
