Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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