please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm just crazy horny about you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
