he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
