He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize