Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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