There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
