u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
