Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
