There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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