It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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