in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize