Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
In other news, I just burned my penis
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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