Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
