You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You took a bar mat shot.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
