giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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