Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
