How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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