I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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