I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I looked at my own cervix.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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