also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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