You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
