i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize