I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
it's like heaven, but drunker
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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