Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
