Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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