She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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