redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
