okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
