Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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