Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
