I wanna passion pit in your ass
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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