whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
