he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
