A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Let's get the cat blown out
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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