Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
