Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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