i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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