I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
