Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
