I CAN MOONWALK!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
