i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
nutella sex= disaster
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize