Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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