Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
