And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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