it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
