i just had sex bonerless
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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