Already got asked if we're dating
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Randomize
