Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
