im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize