we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
