Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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