If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
